Where is the one?

It's the same every year
It's that strange nagging fear
That there's something the matter with me

Feels like I'm one percent proof
Feels like the unwelcome truth
that I'm not what I think I should be

I am unsatisfactory
an eleven volt battery
I'm a trecherous, leperous cheapskate
cheesecake!

A fly on the wall
who saw nothing at all
cause there's nothing at all to see

Where is the one?
Who said she would come
Where is the one?
She's taking me on
She makes me

five times a day
my mother calls me to say
how she's got cancer of the son

I need my annual cervix
but my heart does not deserve it
and I'm frightened of losing a lung

Terminal case says the smile on my face
And I wish I could change it to low rate
Dream date!

Hoarse from all the shouting
At the car I drive about in
I'm the tray, the goose and the kite

Where is the one?
Who said she would come
Where is the one?
She's taking me on
She makes me

She makes me
She makes me whole

It's the same every year
It's that strange nagging fear
That there's something the matter with me

I walked a mile and a quarter
With the headmaster's daughter
But she wasn't my bride to be

Where is the one?
Who said she would come
Where is the one?
She's taking me on
She makes me

She said she could make me the one
Who said she would come
Where is the one
She's taking me on
She makes me

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