If you could chose to play a gig anywhere, where would it be?
Anywhere? Erm... We've played a couple of times at the Shepherd's Bush Empire, that's always been nice. I'd like to play, to headline there would be really nice. But we played Brixton Academy last year, that was nice. No, probably the Barrowlands in Glasgow, we played there last year and it was fantastic. To headline there would be amazing. So, yeah, in a few years perhaps we'll do that.
What's your favourite joke?
Erm... (thinks) erm... my favourite joke? I'm one of those people that cannot remember jokes. It's like, if I go into a record shop, I can't remember what I want to buy. If I go into a video shop, I can't remember what I want to watch. So if someone says tell me your favourite joke, I can't remember any jokes, at all. At all. No, so I can't remember. But I have got one, I just can't remember what it is, sorry. I quite like what's the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same. But err, you know, that's not really a joke, it's just a stupid thing to say.
Talking of stupid things to say... This is the worst joke. Ask me if I'm a lemon.
Are you a lemon?
No. No one gets it.
Ok, fine. I actually did once, I'm not sure, for some reason, compile what I call my anti-joke book. It was just full of jokes that aren't funny.
This is definitely one of them, yeah!
There were things like - Knock knock...
Who's there?
Dr Who... Yeah, see stuff like that really.
What are your hopes for the next single?
Erm, well... just carry on building I spose, as anyone would say. I mean we were actually quite pleased with what happened with the first one - we didn't make very many, so it was never going to soar into the top 40. The nice thing was that everyone... all of the ones we made were bought - quickly. And erm, actually it was like more people wanted it than could get it, sort of thing, and that's a good thing. For the first single, it's quite nice if more people want it than can get it. For the second single it'd be better... it'd be good if everyone that wanted it could get it, and hopefully a lot of people will want it. But, you know, we'll have to see.
Will there be any previously unheard material on the album?
Previously unheard?
That you haven't played at gigs or anything?
Oh probably, yeah. On the album, yeah. On the singles, in fact. Erm, there'll be... yeah, we've got loads of songs knocking around and we like to get them out there. So, yes. B-sides and stuff, and certainly the extra tracks and stuff on the seven inches will all be stuff that is just random weird stuff that we just like to do. Hopefully the album... we're not quite sure yet how the album will be. We were gonna do a super quick first album that's like the singles, and a couple of tracks from the singles, and like three or four new ones. Or we'll do one which is just the singles and loads of new ones, depending on how quickly we wanna make it, and how quickly we wanna get it out. We're really keen to make our first album and get it out like this summer, then make a second album this year and get that out the following summer, just so we don't just have to hang around.
Is that the plan then, to try and get the first album out this year?
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely the plan. There's no reason yet to not think that will happen. So, it'll be a cracker, I reckon, our first album. 10 songs - it'll probably only last about 20 minutes! So, it'll be good. And you'll wanna listen to it twice! That's my ambition, to make an album you want to listen to twice in a row. It doesn't happen very often these days, albums are too bloody long.
Where do you see yourselves in a year's time?
A year's time, OK, first album's out, selling alright, and we're making a second album. I
dunno, just maybe doing a bit more touring around the world. It'll be nice to go and play our
music elswhere. You know, I dunno... superstar status really. I'm hoping to um... lure Debbie McGee
away from Paul Daniels and be mine. And we'll all have kinda comedy celebrity partners. Steve,
I know, has a fascination with Cliff Thorburn the snooker player. So perhaps those two will
get together. So anyway, we'll have to see. All good things, good things will come of us. That's
the main thing - crazy good things.
Last question - when was the last time you wore a skirt?
I used to wear skirts quite a lot, I haven't worn one for ages. So I really don't know. To be... probably three or four weeks ago... now. I like skirts, yeah. I like to wear a skirt with nothing underneath, I mean because you get a panty line - it spoils the line of a nice expensive skirt, yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, I might have to start wearing skirts all the time.
On stage? Or just at weekends?
No, not on stage. On stage is a place for trousers. But you know, in your own house. So much easier to go to the toilet as well. You just hoik it up, plonk yourself down - and when you're all done, you can even use it as toilet roll!
So, there you have it! We said thank you, escaped from the cloakroom, and let Matt get back to the sound-check. However, that's not quite it... COMING SOON - sound clips of the interview!